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Making moves, taking chances, and enjoying what life brings me along the way.

10.7.14

Virtually Friendless for Ten Days

Ten days ago, I decided to log out of Facebook. I didn't delete or suspend my account. I simply wrote a post explaining that if my friends wanted to follow the experiment, they could come here for updates on my life; then, I signed out. Originally, I thought I write about how I felt as a virtually friendless person every day. I imagined it would be quite a difficult feat, resisting the urge to start typing "face..." into my web browser. I had an idea in my head that I would track email reminders to sign in, or the number of times I went to the web page before realizing I shouldn't log into my account. Yet, I'm already over a week into this personal challenge, I haven't done any of that, and, truth be told, I don't feel all that different.

Meanwhile, the Internet continues to pump out more and more opinion pieces on the world's recent finding that Facebook conducted an "emotional manipulation" experiment on some 700,000 users. It seemed that all I came across were negative takes on the issue...that is until I found this PC Magazine article. John C. Dvorak brings up a very valid point in the third paragraph in regards to the public being malleable prior to Facebook or their experiment. While his tone borders the line of being a bit too sarcastic, his article did made me chuckle. I believe it's exactly what people need to read in order to get that this concept of being "manipulated" really isn't new.

Perhaps that's why I don't feel any different sans Facebook. I still get my daily dose of one-sided news stories through online newspapers, blogs, and radio. My emotions are still a reflection of what occurs in my immediate surroundings, virtual or physical. To put it bluntly, reading about Syrian women struggling to keep their families alive without a job, the recent admission of Apple using child labor as a means to build its products, or even the continuous coverage on young children crossing the Texan border in hopes of escaping a drug-gang run country makes me feel like a useless piece of shit.

While I may not feel changed emotionally thus far, I do see a slight improvement in how I handle my free time. I've returned to cranking out 300 plus page books like I once did in my undergraduate days. One of the two books I finished over the weekend was so hard to put down. Fair Game: My Life as a Spy, My Betrayal by the White House is Valerie Plame Wilson's memoir on the CIA scandal that took over her personal and professional life during President George W. Bush's administration. "Weapons of mass destruction" is a phrase we all ought to remember, for the "alleged" proof of their existence led to Bush's war on Iraq announcement in 2003. While I vaguely remember fighting with certain family members over the legitimacy of these claims, I do not recall the scandal that followed Valerie and her husband years after the original declaration of war. I'm not a huge memoir fan, but I would highly recommend this to anyone who thinks a Facebook experiment is detrimental to our civil rights. As I move onto my third book this week (Lawrence in Arabia: War, Deceit, Imperial Folly and the Making of the Modern Middle East), I realize how much I've missed reading physical books. Taking those ten minutes I would have spent stalking my Facebook News Feed every few hours to read what actually interests me has been really refreshing. And, while I regrettably admit to missing out on friends' pictures and posts (especially those abroad who I can't see in person), I know a simple phone/Skype call or handwritten card goes a lot farther than pushing the Like button.

Out and over,

La petite pamplemousse


30.6.14

Farewell For Now, Facebook

Good evening!

I'm sitting here watching the sun set as I write to you; it's another beautiful pink-purple mix.

While I say goodbye to another day, I feel a sense of overwhelming change come upon me. I'm not sure what the change will bring, how it will alter my life, or even what it is, but my gut is telling me that a new path is starting to unfold before me and that I'm ready to take it. There's something in the breeze that reaffirms this truth. Nature often hands us clues about our lives; if only we would listen once in a while.

To start this new chapter off, I've decided to give good ole Facebook the boot. Like most twenty-somethings, I joined Facebook in order to make friends before the dreaded orientation week at my university. Back then, the site helped you establish contacts with those who would soon be in the same dorm, clubs, or even classes as you. You had to have an official email address hosted by your university to even register. Today, however, the scene has changed. Now relatives, young and old, near and far, are on the site posting new updates about their lives, while companies constantly try to catch my attention with their ads, paid posts, and the like.

Last week I got so sick of logging in for no good reason that I decided to run a personal experiment. I made a vow to myself that as of July 1st, I would no longer log into my account. I won't close my account permanently, I just won't allow myself to log in through my laptop, smartphone, or any other device I find in my hands. My goal is to stay disconnected from the virtual world until September 1st.

I'm looking forward to see how my mentality changes, how much I accomplish with those spare five or ten minutes I currently find myself wasting throughout the day, as well as how many emails I get notifying me of what's going on without me or asking me why I haven't been on in a while.

Ironically enough, a large number of news outlets, including sites such as Today.com and TechCrunch, ran stories on the negative reactions toward Facebook's manipulation of certain users' news feeds today. There have also been numerous videos highlighting the creepy factor of how the site works. One video you most likely watched that went viral under the name "Look Up" focused on social media in general and the influence of our smartphones on our lives. However, let's be clear: I'm not leaving and hoping to run into a future boyfriend because I'm not looking at my Facebook feed on my phone. I'm not taking a hiatus because I don't get as many likes or posts or comments as others. I'm taking a break because I want to see how productive I can be without the distractions, how much I can accomplish just being me in this physical world. I'm closing the door, but not locking it up (yet), in order to get closer to myself.

So follow along as I fight the urge to sign in and see what I discover along the way. Who knows, maybe there really is no way to live without being virtually connected 24/7 these days. Only the next two months will tell!

Until next time,

La petite pamplemousse





29.6.14

Sing Along Sunday: Jump Through June

Geez Louise did June fly by! I'm still trying to swallow the fact that I'm yet again one year older, let alone that it'll be four years this summer since I got my city assignment for my first teaching position in France. Since then, my life mentality has shifted, my naiveté of other cultures has slowly begun to diminish, and my need to please others before myself has certainly changed the most.

I find myself trying to avoid dwelling on the past in order to live in the present, but a look back at past versions of yourself is often necessary to push yourself forward to who you want to be. I spent a lot of this month imaging the future, analyzing the past, and trying to create a vision of who I want to be in order to make this year a successful one. These are a few of the songs I found myself listening to as I did just that.

In order to listen along with the descriptions below, be sure to click on the link. You can also follow me on Spotify by clicking here. Please note, you need a Spotify account in order to access my monthly playlists. I've included both the artists and song titles below, so feel free to listen with another app or music platform if you prefer.

Have a listen before we jump into July!

  1. "Something's Got A Hold On Me" by Etta James: Most people recognize the first twenty seconds of this song because of Avicii's "Levels remix." Although I admit to signing that section as loud as I possibly can when his remix comes on the radio, the other two minutes and thirty seconds of the original song are what really get me grooving.
  2. "Waves - Robin Schulz Radio Edit" by Mr. Probz: The repetitive beat in this song soothes my soul much like the physical waves of any beach.
  3. "Stone Rollin'" by Raphael Saadiq: Step, tap, stir. Step, tap, stir, twirl. You'll catch me doing circles around myself while cooking to this one.
  4. "Cut Your Teeth- Kygo Remix" by Kyla La Grange: As an aspiring bellydancer, I've been using this song to help with isolations, external hip circles, mayas, and shimmies.
  5. "Say You'll Be There" by MO: An amazing cover of one of my favorite Spice Girls songs. This version sounds more dreamy and gives the lyrics a different vibe.
  6. "Without Me" by Fantasia, Kelly Rowland, and Missy Elliott: I have heard this song on the radio dozens of times, but never had my phone close enough to use the app Shazam to figure out who was singing the first bit. What a wonderful, powerful trio of female artists.
  7. "Gotta Work" by Amerie: This has always been one of my pump up jams to keep myself strong, centered, and working on what I truly want from my life.
  8. "V.S.O.P" by K. Michelle: This lady always seems to have drama, but she also always gets me up dancing. Just wait for what I'm talking about; it happens right before the one minute mark.
  9. "Get Free" by Major Lazer featuring Amber Coffman: For some odd reason, I'm just discovering this song. The lyrics, the vibe, the voice: woo-ee!
  10. "I Heard It Through The Grapevine" by Gladys Knight & The Pips: I was in a Motown mood the second half of the month and had to include this one. What a classic!
  11. "jasmine (demo)" by Jai Paul: This song was included on a CD mix my sister made for me. I've been listening to it on my drive to work ever since: no AC, windows all the way down, hair getting tangled the whole way there.
  12. "Stay Ready (What A Life) by Jhene Aiko featuring Kendrick Lamar: Jhene's single, "The Worst," is all over the radio these days. This song deserves so much more national attention; although, admittedly, I'd love to keep it to myself.
  13. "Jerk Ribs" by Kelis: She's moved from milkshakes to jerk ribs and the vibe is unbelievably groovy and, in my opinion, more natural for her voice. I'm loving her new CD, especially the songs that involve whistles!
  14. "Be My Man" by Asa: Break out your tambourine again! I found this artist through Indila, a French singer I follow and who I mentioned in my last post.
  15. "Upside Down" by Paloma Faith: A great, upbeat song that sounds like it should come out of a random jukebox in the middle of a city park.
  16. "Kukere" by Iyanya: This was my wake up song last summer. I was all about the African playlists on 8tracks. I can't seem to get it out of my head a year later.
  17. "Sing" by Ed Sheeran: I know, I know...what is this guy doing on one of my lists? I hit fast forward on every song I ever hear by him, but I'm guilty as charged of loving his latest single. I blame the catchy beat and refrain on Pharrell. The puppets that were in this music video, though, Lord that was freaky.
  18. "Sweet About Me" by Gabriella Cilmi: I rediscovered this song when I popped an old summer CD mix in my car the other day. My Swedish coworkers sure knew what good music was all about, and, I'm sure still do.
  19. "Back In The World" by David Gray: I'm so happy that David has a new CD out there this year; I wasn't a big fan of his last one. He's one of those artists I associate with a certain season. While I tend to only listen to him in that in between summer and fall time, this song was really calling to me this month.
  20. "Hide" by Little May: Little May is an Australian trio of lovely ladies who follow up on every tweet of praise they receive. I reached out to them after listening to this song dozens of times a day for two weeks straight. Check out their music video for this song, as they're not yet on Spotify. I'm in love with what they did in this music video, especially the dance circle.
  21. "Nirvana" by Sam Smith: This guy's voice is like buttercream icing: so damn smooth and sugary. While the acoustic version is worth a listen as well, something about the last twenty seconds of this song makes my heart skip a beat every time I listen to it.
  22. "Try A Little Tenderness" by Otis Redding: Watching one of my studio's teachers perform a bellydance solo to this made me add this classic to the end of this month's list. The bellydance show included Korean pop, Bollywood music, and even old 1920s jazz. Creativity, emotions, and expression were abound that night.
There you have it folks! One more day and we're officially half way through 2014. Can you believe it? I certainly am struggling to accept how fast time is passing this year.

I'll be writing more frequently as I'll be doing a mini experiment the remainder of the summer. Stay tuned for the next post to learn more!

As always, have a wonderful week and stay true to you!

Bisous,

La petite pamplemousse

29.5.14

Think About It Thursday: Cycling Trivialities

I haven't posted on a Thursday in a while. As the title explains, Thursdays are reserved for deep thinking. Yet, I don't sit down and make myself think of a topic at a specific time or for a certain period of time; the thought process just happens, and bizarre as it is, usually on a Thursday. Perhaps, being closer to the end of the week, Thursday happens to be when all my thoughts reach the brim of what I can keep in internally, and a deluge of emotion is released. Whatever the scientific reasoning, I know that writing down my thoughts (preferably with a pen and paper) is much more therapeutic to my being than keeping everything in or explaining how I'm feeling to others verbally.

For most of the East Coast, today's forecast ain't lookin' too good. Showers upon showers, grey cloud after grey cloud, and a lowering of the recently high temperature. Personally, I love rainy days as much as sunny ones. The type and amount of rain really does determine everything for my day. On days like today, when the sun will never get the chance to peek through the clouds to say hello, I find myself either extremely motivated to work on my future, or extra nostalgic for all things, places, and people past. Somehow though, my reasoning always takes me back to square one and the need to focus on the current moment. 

This morning I decided to give Bon Iver another chance. I most certainly do not have anything against their talent; more so, this particular band reminds me of a very lost time in my life. Listening to any of the songs from the second album hits a switch in my brain, signaling that I should probably cry rivers and let snot fall from my nose like a waterfall. I most certainly am a sight when I cry, as I'm sure most of us all are. 

Why do I always cry, you wonder? I cry because I think of when I first started listening to the album. I was stressed out and exhausted and emotional. It was the week before Halloween and I was in charge of the school party. My computer died and I had no money nor insurance to fall back on in case of this quite normal circumstance. (Whose computer hasn't died on them before?) I had to rewrite all of my lesson plans, figure out Halloween games that were appropriate for three- to eleven-year-olds, prepare to have my classroom skills evaluated by the head of the English department, and return to the Préfecture to wait in line for my carte de séjour (which in the end, I never received). I immediately thought my life was awful, that I had the worst luck in the world, that I was having the worst week ever; the complaints continue. I had no idea what was coming. These were mere trivialities, arriving in one go, but trivialities nonetheless. The Apple staff in Lyon helped reprogram my computer for free. I made new lesson plans. Our school had its most successful Halloween party yet. I passed my evaluation with flying colors and received wonderful recommendations to even further improve my teaching skills. After four hours, I even received a new récépissé from the Préfecture. I made it through the week.

And then I received a call late at night. I didn't even hear my mom's voice before I realized why she was calling. My Mom-Mom was gone. 

Image courtesy of SlideShare


It will already be a month ago tomorrow that my Grandad passed away. This time death didn't come so suddenly, but it came and went nonetheless, taking another person I love and look up to, away. The weeks leading up to his death, I repeatedly listened to a song by Lord Huron, that now will be timestamped with those same feelings expressed earlier. One day last month, I called my Dad and explained how I felt too comfortable at my job, how I needed a new challenge, how I wanted to explore the world some more but didn't know where to start, and how I didn't know where exactly I wanted my life to go. Significant to one person, trivial compared to the entirety of the universe. A week after this phone call, my Dad courageously flew out to be with my Grandad while his spirit cautiously passed into the sky. Ever since, I've felt extremely guilty of even complaining about my life, of thinking, again, I had it bad; not because of my Grandad dying, but because I wasn't focusing on and recognizing each current moment as special, unique, and absolutely needed to prepare oneself for the future. Death always seems to reiterate the difference between the three tenses: past, present, and future.

Worrying about what is or is not to come is something we all struggle with, and I'm nowhere near achieving the ability to overcome that; but, I do try to remind myself that in the end, we must learn to trust our guts before allowing our reason to overtake each individual circumstance. On the same note, we can't wait around for anything to happen. Waiting produces more worry, more over thinking, more anxiety where anxiety has no place, yet or maybe even ever. We all need to dance, run, walk, do cartwheels, draw, write, or even take up the recorder again. We can't look back and worry about what was or should have been. We must accept the present, learn from the past, and look forward to, but try not stress, about the future. Most of the time what we stress about never happens. Plus, those who we miss are still with us, whether we can physically see them or not. In the end, we're just cycling trivialities.

Image courtesy of SlideShare

Until next time,

La petite pamplemousse