Send Me On My Way

It tends to rain before I move. I never really noticed the pattern until last night when I was sitting in the pouring rain, listening to Two Door Cinema Club and The Dø on the Roman ruins. I looked out onto the Lyon skyline, looked down at all of the people cheering and dancing, and thought to myself that I can't leave. This place is my home now.

Looking back on my life, it all makes sense, and maybe this misfortune chain of recent events leading to a loss in a perfect job happened for a reason. Every summer when I left Rehoboth it poured, when I left home for JMU it rained so much 81 was flooded, when I left JMU for good it thunderstormed the night before...I know I tend to over-analyze majority of things, but this is just too weird. The only time it didn't rain was before I moved to France....

I'm not really sure what to think anymore. I was really upset earlier this weekend, but now I just feel empty. Everything was planned out perfectly. I kept thinking on my vacation how excited I was to go home for a bit and come back to this wonderful life. I had a job doing what I liked, I could continue with all my new hobbies here in Lyon, I would have all my Lyon friends coming back the same, I could keep working on my French and apply for a Masters, I could stay in the same apartment with my Bulgarian sister, so on and so forth. But Americans have to go through so much more paperwork to stay in Europe and my boss is not willing to do this after signing a contract with me. Too much effort to have me as her new Pre-K English teacher. So after changing everything for this opportunity, I have to pack up my bags and go home for good. Of course, I've already bought a one way ticket back to Lyon, so I have to come back to get the remainder of my stuff, but I can't bear the thought of coming back just to pick up my material possessions. I feel like I just went through a bad break up.  I have one last chance tomorrow morning to try the prefecture. Come on angels, help me out here.

Until then, I'll try my hardest to put my big girl pants on and trudge through this, dancing around my room as I pack, thinking about every amazing person I have met along the way here in this beautiful country, reminding myself of all the breathtaking places I was able to see, and loving every second I spent here in this city I will forever call my home.

It's gonna be, whatever it is.
Until the next chaper,
La petite pamplemousse