I've been in some sort of denial in terms of starting a chapter two for this blog. I'm not sure if it's because I left it all off on such a low note, or if I'm not really fond of sharing everything with the world anymore, or maybe I've noticed that it takes up a ton of time since I tend to edit and re-edit before I post (and then I kick myself for wasting time being a perfectionist and getting lost in the cyberspace countryside when I could have been out exploring new places and seeing new faces).
I already have this feeling that this year will be somewhat equivalent to the second Harry Potter. It keeps the ball rolling but isn't necessarily as exciting as the first. We shall see though, it's only the first full week back after all. I'll be decisive for once and say that there goes my fear again, living in a foreign country. Even after a year of this, I'm still not as confident as I pretend to be. And no, I'm still not 100% fluent!
So what am I doing this year? Well, I'm still teaching English, but this year it's a much younger crowd (3-4 year olds) as well as a private international school. I have my own classroom, my own students, and my own supplies. In comparison to last year, it's a much teacher to student ratio (15 vs 28); however, on the other hand, they're spoiled. A direct 180 degree turn in terms of who I'm dealing with and what they're capable of doing. This was something I told myself to expect but it's just such an intense change: I went from having students tell me about how horrible their home life was to now having students throw a tantrum because they can't get their way for once. I'll hold my opinions to myself for now since it is quite early to make a final decision about whether or not teaching is really my « calling » in this thing called life. After all, last year I did often complain on here about how frustrating teaching was but then again I also cried my eyes out (along with my students) on the last day of school.
Not sure if everyone goes throw this 2 year post graduation slump or if it's just me. I thought moving to a different country would help me figure everything out so the future would seem clearer. In a way, my idea to move here for a year made things a bit more complicated and I feel even more unsure of my future. I'm hoping this is all just a brief home/Rehoboth/JMU/sickness/self-doubt/scaredy cat phase (as it tends to be for those who really know me).
Looking back on the past year (and thanks to Facebook, my status updates of 2010), I realize that I did indeed develop a new part of my individual being. My sense of time has slowed down (and then it sped back up when I returned to the States). I now subconsciously pick neutral colors over neon green in clothing stores. I feel even more disgusting if I eat fast food or processed foods rather than raw fruits and vegetables. American coffee does absolutely nothing to my energy level anymore; I NEED espresso! Furthermore, as much as I used to love driving (especially on long road trips or through the Blue Ridge Mountains), I now get antsy if I don't walk everywhere. I went on long walks every night at home because my body just felt so out of it otherwise. But, bref (anyways), there is a lot more I want to accomplish for myself over the next year. I hope you join along for a second go at this rollercoaster of a thing called « la vie en France. »
And if I didn't grab your attention with my sappy writing, please do fall victim to my music bait!
I listened to this song over and over again while waiting in front of the prefecture to renew my visa. We arrived at 2 am....they don't open the doors until 9 am. It was the 4th and final chance/time I went to stand in line since I had a plane to catch at 8 am the following morning.
There are artists I go through like a bottle of red wine, and then there are those who come out from the iTunes filing cabinet every year during a particular season. The summer to fall shift always brings this wonderful man back into my life.
And a final push for all of us to take a minute and think about our lives, our dreams, and our futures. "All this time you were chasing dreams, without knowing what you wanted them to mean." Here's to making this year a purposeful one, for me and for all of you out there doing what you do best (and hopefully with a smile on your face).
Bisous! Hugs and kisses!
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